Written by Riyad Barmania and Ryan Andrews. Directed by Ryan Andrews. Stars Jaime Winstone, Aneurin Barnard and Rupert Evans.
A thirty year old playing a stoner teenager decides to bother the new neighbors until (gasp) it’s revealed they’re actually cannibals.
What a waste of time. Whoever made this movie had no passion for anything, that much is obvious. Needless scenes drag on without a hint of excitement. Scenes just… happen. Here’s Elfie, someone too old to play a teenager, getting stoned. Here’s her and her Harry Potter-lookalike friend… getting stoned again. They want to investigate the new neighbors because Elfie’s mother died in a hunting accident (but Elfie thinks it’s murder).
Is that ever resolved? No. Do they have any investigative skills? Not seemingly, although Harry Potter-esque guy suddenly can hack police networks for information. All they do is:
1) get stoned
2) ask a lot of annoying questions
3) call the cops without proof
When Elfie finally guesses what the neighbors do, it’s in a bout of racism disguised as investigative know-how: they learn the Gammons have lived in Papua New Guinea and what do you have there? Cannibals, of course. Therefore, the Gammons are cannibals. But it’s not until the Gammons ACTUALLY taunt Elfie with a severed arm that we know she was right (I don’t know what’s more racist here: that she assumed all New Guineans were cannibals or that the movie proved them to be ultimately right).
The only redeeming part is the ending and only because of how fast things degenerate. After congratulating Elfie on her skills (they SHOWED HER THE ARM, SHE INVESTIGATED NOTHING), they decide to kill absolutely everyone. Why everyone and not just Elfie? Your guess is as good as mine.
So that’s it. I’d say that the visuals are pretty but I was too distracted by the loud, obnoxious dramatic music playing over everything. It’s so loud and drab, it made me wish movies were like video games and you could turn off music. Avoid this movie.
Nothing. Waste of time. I’m not giving it anything.