Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)

Written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer and Tiziano Sclavi. Directed by Kevin Munroe. Stars Brandon Routh, Anita Briem and Sam Huntington.

SYNOPSIS:

Constantine played by Superman whose sidekick first got known for Detroit Rock City, and Peter Stormare, who needs to be in every movie I’ve been watching lately. Oh wait, story synopsis? Right. Dylan investigate the murder of a man who might have instigated a war between werewolves and vampires. So like Underworld but with Superman.

REVIEW:

Can you believe this is from the same cinematic universe Dellamorte Dellamore comes from? They’re apparently all adaptations of the same comic book. Though while Dellamorte Dellamore was (surprisingly) more accurate a portrayal, Dylan Dog took so little of the source material (besides the name) that it’s been panned by pretty much every fan of the comics. Well, I hadn’t read them and I like Routh enough (he was great in Scott Pilgrim vs The World), so I thought I’d watch it.

Big mistake. Dylan Dog: Dead of Night is a hollow, by the numbers sort of horror cop movie. It’s Men in Black with less interesting people. It’s RIPD… actually, I never watched RIPD. But you get the idea. It’s Hellboy but with Superman. See what I’m doing here? I keep comparing it to other movies because it’s exactly that; a copy of other more successful movies. Though instead of being clever, or playing with the genre, it never delivers anything new. Routh as a rough/depressed investigator is not at all believable and his narration is more fitted to American Pie-esque movies than this. He’s trying to sound Noir but ends up sounding cartoony. You can see the plot arrive a mile away (even more so if you know actual Film Noir tropes) and the only moments that could entertain (Dylan fighting a bunch of vampires) is filmed in such a way that you never actually see the action; only Routh pointing guns at the camera. It’s so strange and cheap that I kept rolling my eyes.

The only actually entertaining moments come from Sam Huntington, who’s perfected his “loveable doofus sidekick” acting a long time ago. He’s funny, in a movie that doesn’t deserve him.

SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?

No. Watch Men in Black, then Blade. Then Underworld. There; you’ve seen everything Dylan Dog: Dead of Night wanted to be.

Under the Skin (2013)

Written by Walter Campbell, Michel Faber and Jonathan Glazer. Directed by Jonathan Glazer. Stars Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy McWilliams and Lynsey Taylor Mackay.

SYNOPSIS:

A woman appears in Scotland and lures lonely males to something inexplicable.

REVIEW:

This movie sure isn’t for everyone. It’s slow-paced, very minimalistic and terribly artsy. Still, I couldn’t stop watching. And considering that Johansson is usually cast for her attitude and snarky performances, it was a definite gamble to cast her as the silent black widow (no pun intended). Actually, you get to see that Johansson is more than her assets and you end up remembering why everyone fell in love with her in Lost in Translation (as opposed to, say, Don Jon).

Filming in Scotland was a good choice, making Johansson’s character seem even more out of place, while as well providing eerie backdrops as the story progresses. It feels strange and alien. Props to Glazer for this, as anyone else could have used sci-fi clichés to create tension instead of using the very Earthly, yet surreal locations seen in the movie.

Don’t come in expecting flashy sci-fi. As I mentioned above, it’s a slow-paced, minimalistic piece. If no one told you this was science-fiction as you started watching it, you would only figure it out in the last five minutes of the movie. Still, it’s an intriguing story about someone from the outside, looking in and trying to find herself (or itself… not sure of the actual gender).

SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?

Yes. It’s a weird little movie that doesn’t hold you by the hand and doesn’t need to explain everything that’s happening. It’s refreshing, in a world of sequelitis. We should encourage this sort of movie.

Another Halloween Movie Month done!

Hey everyone,

I want to thank you for once again following my daily reviews this year. It’s always fun to discover new movies and share my experiences with you.

As usual, I’ll take a break and have sporadic updates for a bit but I’ll most likely do like last year and come up with more exploitation/Fantasia Fest bouts now and again. I’m looking at you, Christmas! Nothing better to do than to watch horror movies while gobbling up some turkey, right?

I’ll leave you with some fun little info:

-105 horror movies have been reviewed here.
- Also 8 Fantasia Fest movies.-I’ve reviewed 4 1980s movies with friends and;
-12 exploitation movies with them.
-That’s a total of 129 movies in 415 days, or around a movie every 3 days.

Now ain’t that something?

HM31: Proxy (2013)

Written by  Kevin Donner and Zack Parker. Directed by Zack Parker. Stars Kristina Klebe, Joe Swanberg and Alexa Havins.

SYNOPSIS:

A mother loses her unborn baby to a vicious attack. What follows gets even darker.

REVIEW:

What is horror? If you follow Wikipedia and Netflix, this movie is horror. If you follow IMDB, it’s a thriller. Is Hannibal horror? I think so. And I think Proxy fits the bill.

What it lacks in scares, it makes up for it in shock. This movie is dark; really really dark. Enough that I wanted to stop watching after the first five minutes. I soldiered on, however. That might have been a mistake. It’s not that the movie is horrible; far from it. It’s decent enough, even though some of the acting is wooden. The lead actresses do a fine job at alienating the viewer. In other movies, that might be bad; here it’s the intended result.

Proxy is made to make you feel uneasy. It’s all about the subtle inner desires of people stuck in certain situations. It’s also there to make you think you know what’s going on… until it goes in another direction. I’ve mentioned this when reviewing You’re Next. Many hate this. I happen to like it.

There’s not much else to talk about. It’s a very slow-paced movie that deals about inner turmoil but which contains truly horrific stuff. No demons, no ghosts. Just quite a bit of murder. If you’re an expecting mother, or have a newborn, or like your young ones very much, I’d suggest to stay away from it, as it’ll most likely disgust you.

SCORE:

♥♥

HM30: [REC]3: Genesis (2012)

Written by Luiso Berdejo, David Gallart and Paco Plaza. Directed by Paco Plaza. Stars Leticia Dolera, Diego Martín and Ismael Martínez.

SYNOPSIS:

A couple is getting married and everything is wonderful, until Uncle Victor’s dog bite turns worse and all hell breaks loose.

REVIEW:

I was afraid for a moment. It started with a teenager and a camera and I sighed. Then the action started and it went full-on professional shots and I cheered. Thank you for that, [REC]3.

What can I say about this movie? It’s the third of the franchise and you should be aware of it by now. Demon-possessed undead in peculiar situations, and a government quarantine. That’s the blueprint of every movie in this franchise. Unlike the other three however (two released, one coming out tomorrow), this one is happening DURING the event in the apartment building of the first movie.

And why not? Why not explore the same night in different area? You get to do a sequel without being too tied to the characters. I think it’s a fresh way to do things. It makes it stand on its own. But was it good? Well, yes. Yes it was.

There’s a definite change of pace and style, however. If you’re a fan of the other instalments, you might not appreciate how light-hearted it is. There’s are definite humoristic moments, though very subtle and it’s very much a love story… only with a lot of zombies in it. Though unlike other zomromcoms like Shaun of the Dead, this love story is taking a quasi folklore spin, where the groom ends up in a suit of armor, with a sword and the princess… sorry, the bride, looks splendid in her white dress, trying to find her husband.

I get why the general rating of that movie is split 50-50. Personally, I thought it was a nice change and as a standalone, “this is happening during [REC]” piece, it’s just fine.

SCORE:

♥♥♥

HM29: The Den (2013)

Written by Zachary Donohue and Lauren Thompson. Directed by Zachary Donohue. Stars Melanie Papalia, David Schlachtenhaufen and Adam Shapiro.

SYNOPSIS:

A young university student is starting a sociology project by logging in to The Den, a random chat program. Ensues a series of weird events that that showing a dangerous pattern.

REVIEW:

That’s it for me. No more found footage. I won’t even watch V/H/S Viral. I’m done. Happy, The Den? You were the last nail in the coffin.

Here’s why. SPOILERS GALORE.

1) Everyone is always filming everything with the phones and laptops. Each webcam has super HD streaming and recording.
2) She records over 350 chats on her laptop. In Super HD. You’d think she made backups because no mac laptop comes with dozens of terabytes of space, right? Nope. That’s actually a point later.
3) EVERYONE RECORDS ALL THE TIME. I know I said it already but I mean, geesh, who jogs with his or her phone held at arm’s reach to record the road/his or herself?
4) The badguys are an army of hacker/engineer/policemen/ninjas. They can do ANYTHING when you log in, including installing a camera in your bedroom, emptying your boyfriend’s condo in an instant, replace LAPD officers, etc.
5) You think the movie builds up a “the internet turns us all into recluses and voyeurs” but then the ending arrives and you realize it’s just a heavy handed jab at pornography and the violence associated with it. I cringed.
6) Everyone has misshapen arms; there’s no other way these phone camera shots are possible.
7) Everyone carries a mic so they’re understood at all times, no matter how far from the camera.

I could go on but I’m spending too much energy on this.

This movie wasn’t made for people aware of technology, or people using Skype, Chatroulette or Omegle. It was made for people who believe Fox 11 news reports about 4chan.

SCORE:
1/2♥

Two Ave Romeros and Three Spatter Noster for your delicious sins!

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